Client #9's most recent saga with Ashley Alexandra Dupre brought plenty of spotlight to the escort industry, and recently Portfolio mag has some numbers of the entire 'pricey hooker' industry.

Portfolio magazine's writers, Duff McDonald and Miriam Datskovsky, cite the National Health and Social Life Survey (which sounds totally legit, if you ask me) when revealing that over 700,000 American men frequent the services of a prostitute each year. That's a little more than the combined population of Alaska.

The vast majority of that number is perpetrated by 'johns' with dirty streetwalkers or brothel house workers. And as you may have guessed that's not where the real money is. The real big bucks come from the 5% of those 700k transactions which are perpetrated through the discreet venue of escort services.

These escort services can be broken down into three generalized groups:

Group 1 - 94% of All Escort Users
This is how the vast majority of escort service transactions play out. It's your run of the mill lonely businessman or corporate executive with some extra cash to blow. He'll search out the services of an escort company he finds on the internet, places a call, doles out $500 to the nice lady and also pays a $40 booking fee. Pretty simple but, not nearly as exciting as the following groups.
Total - $540

Group 2 - 5% of All Escort Users
Here's where Spitzer and other well-to-do politicians may fit in. Secrecy is key here. Most of the expense will be tied into keeping everything nice and low profile. The escort will cost around $3,200, which includes a $500 credit to 'reserve future bookings.' Two separate hotel rooms are also a must, and will run you around $938 for one night at the Mayflower in Washington. A train ticket for the lady to travel from NYC to DC will cost you around $138. And a couple of drinks from the hotel room minibar to loosen everyone up will amount to another $50.
Total - $4,326

Group 3 - 1% of All Escort Users
These guys are the cream of the crop. The kingpins of the escort industry, the 'money shot' if you will. These are your globe trotting billionaires with access to private jets. The escort herself will run a similar $4,500. Expect to pay $30,000 a night for a 4-star penthouse hotel room in a fun city like Miami. The private jet to get all interested parties together in one place will cost you another $15,400. Tack on an additional $1,000 for some top-notch wining and dining. Then don't forget about the "distracting spa weekend package" for your unsuspecting wife - $5,000. Throw in a diamond necklace for your new ladyfriend 'for all the trouble' - $3,000 and you're all set.
Total - $63,900

Based on these average numbers, Duff and Miriam did a little math and came up with the value of the total US escort economy as being worth around $109,668,808.

What else is worth around $110 Million? Sub-prime mortgage slinger, Angelo Mozilo's severance package. Britney Spears' annual economy. And Heather Mills' divorce settlement. Wow, among that list I can't decide which is more horrible. Maybe I'll just stick to the hookers.

Portfolio: The Escort Economy, May, 2008

Was it ever really 'out of style'? Apparently in those uptight 90s, it was more frowned upon, probably leading up to the dot com bubble burst or something.

According to an article in DETAILS (with an insane accompanying photo), those days of piety and restraint are long gone.

Guys like Tim, a 28-year-old married guy in from Santa Monica hooked up with some 25-year-old babe at his office during a few late night 'editing sessions' on the job, are taking this new carefree business environment by storm.

There are some statistics to embolden the daring, such as the ones showing that sexual harassment claims have decreased by 21 percent in the past 10 years. The rise of more relaxed environments, and television shows like The Office, which treat workplace romance as commonplace, both contribute to increased promiscuity.

My favorite story from the article is about Janet from New York who made the most out of an uncomfortable situation:

"I became known as the office slut," she says. Another coworker asked her out, and after she turned him down repeatedly, he said, "Come on, you've fucked everyone else in the office."

But instead of reporting him to HR, she used the slut tag to her advantage. "Freakishly, it may have helped my career," she says. "There was all of this curiosity about me and all of these idiots thinking they had a chance."

All this inter-office romance and supply closet humping must really kill productivity at these offices. Waaaay more than the often reported NCAA March Madness bracket filling work lag.

The real things you need to be on the lookout for are not the steamy office hookups, but rather those ugly office breakups.

No one wants to hear, "Oh sorry, Tom, the Johnson files were mysteriously destroyed. Along with all the clothes you left at my apartment!"

DETAILS: The Return of the Office Affair, April 22, 2008

The traditional butler is making a big comeback in London. Although plenty of normal people are struggling in this economic recession, Rich Dicks will always need ways to be extravagant.

After a whole load of rich Russian dudes/ hedge fund billionaires wanted their 'newspaper creases ironed out' and 'private jets flown' by a well-dressed old polite guy, butlers are back on the scene. A trained traditional butler averages around $138,000 a year!

According to an article in Bloomberg last week, butlers are even helping out with the real dirty work:

There is a correct way to interrupt coitus, says Rick Fink, who runs a butler school at former British Prime Minister Winston Churchill's weekend mansion outside Oxford, England.

"A firm knock on the door, listen for any noises and wait for an order," Fink, 73, tells his students, dressed in traditional green aprons. "Then address Sir, not the lady or any other companion, until spoken to."

Also, under no circumstance should you address the man dressed in the bunny suit, and the donkey prefers to be called Sir Donks, please.

Bloomberg: More Butlers Do It as London Embraces Incomes With Eight Digits, April 8, 2008