Showing posts with label dream jobs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dream jobs. Show all posts

Monday, June 23, 2008

Career Options: Corporate Whore or Bleeding-Heart Servant

It comes as no surprise that college graduates are looking for the big paychecks on Wall Street, but many educators are asking why that seems to be the only acceptable option for many Ivy League graduates. Is everyone selling their soul?

Don't get me wrong, jobs on Wall Street are impressive and highly competitive. I know of one attractive young woman who is dying for one. Hundreds of applicants with top grades, stellar references, and high aptitudes are turned down almost everyday for entry-level positions at the big banks. It seems like one of the big reasons for the clamor to be a corporate suit is the high debt incurred while completing one's undergraduate degree at a top-flight institution.

With student debt at an all time high and tuition bills skyrocketing, many students see a Wall Street job as the only way to pay for their recently acquired Harvard degree. Maybe that's the problem?

The New York Times ran a seemingly very slanted piece on college students' obsession with Wall Street careers. I found myself asking, "So basically, NYT, you're saying there's nothing socially rewarding about these careers? Really?"

To combat the desire for instant financial security, some universities like Tufts are offering to pay off student loan debt for graduates entering a public service profession. Other schools are shifting more towards offering grants as the main source of financial aid, as opposed to loans, in order to avoid the burden of payback after graduation. Teach for America is another example of a program that uses talented recent graduates to give back to needing communities in the form of school teachers.

None of this seems to be enough though, the lure of Wall Street is too strong. But what's so wrong with that? Apparently, from the NYT interviews, you're a corporate whore if you accept one:
“You have to be part of the competition. You have to prove to yourself and everyone else that you can do it.”

Bryan Barnhill, a Harvard senior from a public high school in Detroit, took a semester off and will graduate next year. “Some people say it’s a selfish thing to do,” he said, referring to the lucrative jobs. “They say you should be using your talent for something beneficial for your community. Terms like ‘corporate whore’ would be tossed around.”

That's pretty harsh. But what are we expecting from these kids? Do we want them all to be doctors, politicians, and pro-bono defense lawyers? Should they save our city, our country, our planet first while foregoing a handsome 'selfish' paycheck?

It seems that many educators and jaded adults are unhappy with the current state of affairs. Rather than letting their children and country's young people indulge in some luxuries they were not afforded, they would rather these bright young stars figure out how to save us from ourselves. But maybe I'm wrong, maybe the NYT article is right and we're just becoming a self-serving society that only looks out for number 1.

If you're still on the fence about your future career, might I suggest these or this.

This is definitely something you should weigh in on at the comments section.


NYT: Lure of Big Paychecks or Service? Students Are Put to The Test, June 23, 2008


Wednesday, June 18, 2008

One Step Closer To A Hire

Remember Brenna, the ambitious recent college grad who wants to become Wall Street's new 'money honey'? Last week we posted her video resume and did a little digging into her past.

Now it looks like she's one step closer to her goal. TheStreet.com posted this little interview montage with Brenna this morning.



She's obviously grown up so much! Choosing not to emulate her idols, but 'take them to a new level' - intense. She's also making another video? Sweet, I can't wait. Hopefully it will include more strangely angled soliloquies and cute Chinese phrases.

I wonder if Jim Cramer and the rest of TheStreet gang are aware of her Linkin Park obsession yet? Or maybe they're all big fans of the pornographic film star she 'supposedly' resembles?

Any other embarrassing video resumes we should be aware of? Send us your findings or leave some love/hate in the comments.

TheStreet: I Want To Be Maria, June 18, 2008


Monday, June 16, 2008

Tech CEO's Secret Sex/Drugs Cave Discovered


Henry Nicholas III, the founder and CEO of chip-making firm Broadcom, was a billionaire with a wild streak. From recently released court documents it has been revealed he hosted drug-fueled sex orgies with prostitutes in both a hidden underground lair below his mansion and in a renovated 'party warehouse' in southern California.

According to an article in yesterday's New York Post, with the amazing headline 'Rockin' the Coked-Out "Orgy" Cave', excessive doesn't begin to describe it:
In an Oriental-themed, tricked-out parlor, Nicholas, his friends and a bevy of prostitutes would party and have sex for days - abusing cocaine, laughing gas and other drugs, as music from such chart-toppers as Led Zeppelin and Phil Collins played, according to court papers and a former employee.

The worker said the parlor had six couches. The main room was fashioned in a Far East motif and adorned in rugs and statues, including a four-foot stone figure of Medusa. There was a Jacuzzi for six. A bedroom in the back was used for sex and sleeping, the worker said.

"The Ponderosa," or "The Pond," was also fitted with an $18,000 wooden bar. [The court documents also] said he spiked the drinks of high-tech execs and representatives of Broadcom customers with ecstasy.
Wow, very impressive setup. The Phil Collins music was a nice touch. I don't think this is what Phil had in mind when he wrote, "I can feel it coming in the air tonight", or maybe he did?

Further details reveal that originally big Nick had the place outfitted with dozens of little cannisters of 'whippets' to get high on. But guests complained the cans were 'too cold', so he went with the laughing gas instead. This scene seems a lot like what would happen if Batman's 'The Joker' hung out with the guys from A Clockwork Orange for a weekend. Also - spiking business clients' drinks with ecstasy is a great way to seal a 'big merger'.

He was happily leading a double-life similar to some sort of evil superhero. By day he was a focused married CEO of a major tech company, working long hours and building his firm. Broadcom first went public in 1998, and less than 2 years later Nicholas Henry was worth over $10 billion.

After working hours, he had this cartoonishly evil obsession with all the most expensive vices. While on vacation for a week with his family, he hired a contractor to outfit his family's home with the underground sex/drugs lair so he could keep partying close to home. The lair had a secret wall-paneled entrance that could only be opened with a remote control. He even gave the contractor death threats when he was told the project might not be completed in time.

That would be one of his many downfalls though, because in 2002 his wife returned home early to find him partaking in the services of a prostitute while high on several drugs in the underground lair. Not sure how she got down there, maybe he carelessly left the door open? That should be rule #1 when it comes to underground lairs - don't leave the door open when you have a hooker downstairs with you.

All of this has been revealed because Nicholas is facing charges of not paying former employees. However, the feds have much more serious allegations for Mr. Henry to explain in court. They are charging him with securities and wire fraud, filing false statements to the Securities and Exchange Commission and conspiracy to distribute illegal drugs, according to indictments unsealed on June 4.

He's out on a $3.3 million bail right now while he awaits trial. No matter the outcome of the case, I think we can all rest assured that Nicholas Henry has set the bar very high in the ridiculously lavish and indulgent CEO sex party category. Makes Spitzer look like a complete nerd.

NY Post: Rockin the Coked-Out Orgy Cave, June 15, 2008


Thursday, June 12, 2008

6 Ways To Improve Your Career Path

The working world can be a tough place to catch a break. Luckily for you, we here at Wall Street Fighter think of ourselves as a wise and humble old sage imparting wisdom upon those who travel the long and winding path to our mountaintop palace looking for advice. Other days we think of ourselves as colorful iguanas. It all depends on our medication levels I guess. But today it's the career advice one, so here goes.

Pay attention to these '6 Ways To Improve Your Career Path' and you'll be living the good life in no time.

1. Get A Coach Or Mentor


Do you think today's hottest professional athletes would be where they are today without some inspiring coach pushing them to success in their past? Yeah, you're right, the steroid scandals and big money contracts might be taking away from good coaching, but anyway...

Getting a coach or 'mentor' might sound kind of lame, corny, and expensive, but it's a good way to get input on important career choices. Maybe a higher-up at your firm will take you under his wing, or a fun old guy in your local basketball league will offer some pearls of wisdom over a few beers. "Haha, good joke, but keep your hand off my thigh, buddy."

Wherever you get the good stuff, keep in mind that sometimes the best career advice comes from informal acquaintances and connections.



2. Get Another Degree


Obviously one of the soundest decisions you can make. A good rule for spending wisely is to spend big money on things that appreciate in value. Homes (with the exception of the occasional crisis and foreclosure) and Education are two of the best examples.

So go back and get your Bachelors, Masters, or Doctorate degrees at your alma mater. Extra Bonus - College girls have gotten sooo much hotter since you left.



3. Get Certified


It's not all about fancy degrees and university classrooms. The non-academic real world can get you a bigger paycheck as well. As much as your stuck-up Ivy League friends like to rag on ITT Tech and DeVry, a technical certification can be a simple and less time consuming way to add a few more zeros to your take home pay.

And if anyone still gives you a hard time, just pretend you're going to a sword fighting school or something. No one can argue with that. Better yet, after you get that technical certification, enroll in a sword fighting class. Hell yeah!



4. Jump On Those Interwebs


You've gotta man the fort on your online presence. Although making a video resume might have disastrous results in today's job market, a website showcasing your portfolio, selected work, resume and contact info should do the trick.

Facebook and LinkedIn are also a must for networking. But don't be a complete idiot about it like one CollegeHumor.com reader's Dad - "My dad gives his friends on Facebook his user name and password so they can log onto his account and look at his pictures. He also double clicks on links." Terrible.

You might also want to browse a Google search of yourself every once and a while to make sure those embarrassing pictures of you with the restaurant busboy from you Cancun Spring Break don't resurface. Muy caliente, Senor.



5. Improve Your Cultural Communication Skills


Let's face it, for those working in the United States after growing up in another country, it can be a difficult transition to assimilate.

Taking a class in accent reduction or American cultural education can help you bond and communicate with coworkers more effectively. It sounds pretty unfair but studies have shown that the more assimilated employees are, the more likely they are to be promoted.

You can't always rely on America's best television programming to teach you the ways of the average Joe. Most women are not as forward as the Sex and the City girls and most guys are not as retardedly un-funny as Carlos Mencia.

And for anyone that considers themself a blue-blooded American, you can get ahead in the workplace by learning another language or educating yourself on the cultures of your colleagues. Ignorance isn't always bliss, it probably just makes you an ass.



6. Join Professional Associations


These are the time and money consuming commitments you might dread. However, they will offer you the opportunity to work with other professionals in your field outside of your company. Those contacts will come in handy in the long run.

You could sit on a committee or a board to get leadership and experience in your field. It might be the most profitable non-phallic thing you've ever sat on! Hiii-ohhh!

So, in conclusion I hope these tips will help you along your path to big monies and a job you enjoy. Thanks visiting us at our mountaintop palace, come again and be sure to leave some love in the mountaintop comments section.

Yahoo: 6 Ways To Invest In Your Career


'Salary Porn' Gets Hot Over at Glassdoor

Glassdoor.com, a new online startup, is trying to become the newest pimp for all your voyeuristic salary snooping desires. Now you can find out how much your loser brother-in-law is making over at his big accounting firm job.

Will this lead to anyone with an internet connection being well informed enough to know to hit you up for money? Some are calling it the next best thing for job hunters, while others pass it off as useless 'salary porn'. Which begs the question, are porn salaries a part of this site too? Sadly, the answer is no, but it's a useful site anyway.

The site is currently in a free trial stage and is allowing all visitors to view salary info for employees at Microsoft and Google free of charge. You may have seen this earlier when we linked some info this morning in the 'Funny and Money Thursday Daily Links' post.

According to Julia Bornstein of CNBC, there is one big catch that will deter the salary peeper inside all of us:
As much as I'd love to voyeuristically read all about the employment landscape, I can't say I'd feel comfortable about offering my own info. I'm sure [my employer-] NBC Universal wouldn't want to encourage such behavior, to say the least. Glassdoor checks your e-mail address and its staffers contact you if there are any questions of authenticity. If you don't mind sharing, you can peruse all sorts of data, and when it comes to salary info, you can graph and sort by employee function.
Although Julia seems to have used the word 'peruse' incorrectly in that quote (Sorry, a pet peeve of mine. It's the most misused word in the English language. Really means to study in great detail, not skim through casually), she does raise an interesting point.

Glassdoor works on the 'I'll show you mine if you show me yours' concept and requires all would-be salary peekers to first give in-depth information about their own job's salary. Of course this wouldn't be an issue for an unhappy employee already looking for another job, but it does hinder the ideal of having all salary information out in the open with Wikipedia-like access.

What if some jobless deadbeat guy wants to start looking up salaries? He wouldn't be able to use Glassdoor due to his lack of experience in the working world. I suppose jobless deadbeats aren't really the revenue driving target audience that Glassdoor is afraid to miss out on.

I am contemplating making up some 'authentic salary information' so that I can check out a few of these entries though. How much does a Starbucks manager make?!

Feel free to post your own salary info in the comments section!

CNBC: New Web Startup Makes Salaries Transparent, June 12, 2008


Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Someone Please Hire Her

The financial job market must be in some tough times right now, because some new college graduates are putting up YouTube videos soliciting themselves to the Wall Street wolves looking for work.

Getting made fun of on the business blog circuit is probably not the best way to introduce yourself. Meet Brenna, an attractive recent business graduate from DePaul University. She also likes Chinese!


Somebody Please Hire Her - Watch more free videos

(see why this is a bad idea after the jump)

The first question that came to my mind after seeing this video was to clarify one point at the (45 second) mark. July 1st she moves to NY to drive her career to new heights? What exactly does she mean by that, she need a car to reach those new heights?

I decided to do some follow-up research to 'learn more' about her.

On Miss Brenna's YouTube page I've gathered that she likes Linkin Park quite a lot. I also enjoyed the video she took in China of a woman carrying a chicken in a plastic bag. Mocking those less fortunate than you? For shame.

But in the DealBreaker post where this video was first seen, commenters have really done some insightful digging:
  • Brenna may be taping herself at a weird angle because one eye is higher than the other, as illustrated in her college's student profile.
  • DePaul University is not good enough for Wall Street?
  • Her listed occupation: "Financial warrior/slayer"
  • A commenter named Anal_yst says "the only sure-fire way to avoid getting a job on wall street is to make a video "proving" how much you deserve one."
  • Some think she resembles pornographic film star, Sasha Grey.
  • She is 'way too stuffy'.
  • A guest commenter says "Her Chinese sucks, Beijing accent - she said "I'm able to speak a little bit of Chinese" and then threw in a "thanks" at the end." Apparently most people's dogs can do better than that.
So there you have it. If Brenna thought this was the best way to get acquainted with Wall Street, she's probably regretting it now. Better to go with the paper resume next time, and use a fancy font to show your creativity.

However, none of this contradicts with the fact that she is an ambitious and attractive young woman educated as a 'financial service professional'. Is that enough in this world? Probably.

Personally I hope all this exposure helps her out. I'm pretty sure most of the Fortune 500 CEOs read this blog, right? And in these hard-fought recession-y days on Wall Street, everyone knows the best place to find new talent to bring your company back into the black is on YouTube.

I can just see Vikram Pandit now, sitting at his desk and hitting the refresh button on his 'Wall Street Wannabe Videos' search page.


DealBreaker: Maria Bartiromo 3.0, June 11, 2008


Friday, May 30, 2008

What Happens to CEOs After They Fall?

The much publicized downfalls of these 6 high profile CEOs made front page news, but how are they keeping busy now? Living at home with Mom? African missionaries? Devoting a lot of time to local charities? Probably not.

From Fortune Magazine and CNN Money, check out Wall Street's version of the 'where are they now?' file:

1. Gary Foresee - Sprint
Downfall: Longtime telecom veteran was pressured to step down as Sprint CEO in October in the wake of a slide in profitability and subscribers linked to the rocky $35 billion merger he engineered with Nextel and an expensive bet on WiMax broadband.

Today: Entered academia as president of his alma mater, the University of Missouri, in February.

Nothing says 'cool' like going back to school. "I will take no questions during lectures relating to 'Why I suck' "


2. Jimmy Cayne - Bear Stearns
Downfall: Resigned as Bear Stearns CEO in January, months after being blasted for absences during the 2007 liquidity crisis. Was non-exec chairman during Bear's near-collapse.

Today: Was still chairman until Bear's recent acquisition by J.P. Morgan closed this week. Comes into the office, but keeps mostly to himself. Has reportedly rejected offers from boards and hedge funds.

He is also apparently having a great time giving heartfelt apologies to his former employees and being met with blank stares.


3. Tom Freston - Viacom
Downfall: Axed as Viacom CEO in 2006 after Chairman Sumner Redstone grew disenchanted with him.

Today: Helping create a new cable operation to be called OWN (the Oprah Winfrey Network). Chairs ONE, the antipoverty campaign started by U2 frontman Bono, and joined Dreamworks's board. Also doing reconstruction work in Afghanistan.

This guy seems pretty cool, with the charity work and all, but wait... Oprah Winfrey Network? Double epic fail! ... or should I say 'OWN' ? More like PWNed!


4. Stanley O'Neal - Merril Lynch
Downfall: Amid massive mortgage-related losses, ousted as Merrill Lynch CEO in October after floating the idea of a merger with Wachovia without consulting Merrill's board.

Today: Joined Alcoa's board in January. Otherwise, has kept a low public profile, but continues to post his golf scores and handicap (9.2, as of May 14) online.

Call this guy a loser all you want, but he is still able to earn a massive salary and play golf all the time. Sounds like a champ to me.


5. Chuck Prince - Citigroup
Downfall: Some $18 billion of mortgage-related write-offs, after years of underperformance, spelled doom for the Citigroup CEO, who resigned in November.

Today: Keeps an office, assistant, and car and driver at Citigroup. Sits on the board at Johnson & Johnson and is a trustee of the Juilliard School and the Weill Cornell Medical College.

It doesn't seem like his new replacement, Vikram Pandit, is doing much better, despite being obsessed with insomniacs.


6. Terry Semel - Yahoo!
Downfall: Onetime movie exec stepped down as Yahoo CEO in June 2007 following shareholder dissatisfaction over poor stock performance. Stayed on as chairman until January.

Today: Has revived his investment firm, Windsor Media (founded in 1999), and hired two former Yahoo execs to ramp up the company and possibly seek Hollywood deals.

Now, apparently Yahoo is full of a bunch of stubborn jerks who couldn't see a good deal if it was wearing a bikini and sitting in their lap. Looks like Semel made out good in the long run.


CNN Money and Fortune: Uneasy lies the crown, May 30, 2008


Job Advice For Recent Graduates

Fox Business offers some helpful advice for recent college grads looking to get into the job market.

Try not to be too scared by the woman doling out these tips. I just keep imagining her to be someone who would torture dalmatian puppies or something. Scary.

Also check out the Wall Street Fighter take on these tips after the jump:




First off, the expert speaking in this video is Betsy Richards from 'Kaplan University', is that really a school? Upon further research I found that Kaplan is one of those online course colleges with all the annoying TV ads. They're also owned by Kaplan Inc., which is in the business of running college prep and SAT prep courses. Something just seems weird about a college prep company owning an online college. Can they help you get into their own school?

But I digress, some of the tips she offers are pretty decent.

#1 - Identify industry trends for new openings - This makes a lot of sense, especially with the 'green', health care, IT, and urban planning industries experiencing high demand. But imagine if you were a combined solar-powered nurse who designs cities made entirely out of computers? Well, I suppose employers would certainly be breaking down the doors to hire you. I bet they offer a specialized degree in that at Kaplan.

#2 - Don't rely on social networking to get hired - This one is kind of dumb. Do people really think they can get hired right off of Facebook or MySpace without ever having to interview with an employer? I guess that's the kind of a dreamworld scenario involving a complete loss of social interaction that one day robots will thrive in.

#3 - Find companies you would like to work for and get your foot in the door - The thinking here is that it's OK to take a job you hate at a company you like. I guess that explains the logic for the guy mopping up after porno shoots.

Got any other tips for readers just entering the job market after their fun-filled college days? Let us hear them in the comments section.


Fox Business: Tips for Job-Seeking Graduates, May 22, 2008


Thursday, May 29, 2008

6 Dream Jobs Every Guy Wants

We are big believers in the perpetual pursuit of your perfect dream job.

And although superhero and astronaut might be out of your league, there are plenty of cool jobs out there you may be uniquely qualified for.

CareerBuilder first assembled the big list of interesting jobs and interviewed these fine gentlemen, but now after careful analysis and prolonged meditation we present to you the 6 coolest dream jobs:

1. Brew Master - Salary: $30,000-$60,000 per year



Jonathan Cutler creates recipes and brews the restaurant’s beer selection at Piece Pizza, a Chicago-based pizzeria. He is the resident brewmaster.

Cutler started home brewing back in college, and completed a brewer training program after graduation. He refined his skills by going to as many beer tastings as he could. It’s not all drinking delicious beers and getting drunk though.

"Right now I'm drenched in sweat, I've got malt all over me and I'm wearing coveralls -- and the brewery is about 100 degrees," Cutler said.

Every guy has his own favorite beer and the world can never have too much of God’s nectar, so why not start on your path to becoming a legendary brew-Master of the Universe?




2. Casino Host - Salary: $15 per hour and up



The casino host is one of the few guys you actually like at a casino. He’s there to make the guest feel comfortable and will ‘comp’ a few drinks and maybe a few rooms. He’ll book your hotel reservations and probably collect some big tips.

At Connecticut's Mohegan Sun casino, there is a casino host on duty 24 hours per day. Eleftherios "Lefty" Mastorakis, executive host at Mohegan Sun, comes in at noon each day and spends the next eight hours or so checking messages from patrons and monitoring the gambling floor to deal with any requests that come up.

Mastorakis entered the casino business after high school and has held a variety of roles over the last 10 years. Lefty smartly does not himself indulge in gambling.




3. Ice Cream Creator - Salary: Food scientists average $56,600 a year



Derek Spors is one of those noble men who laid down his tastebuds to bring you the finest of Ben and Jerry’s. He refers to himself as an "ice cream scientologist" and senior product developer for Ben and Jerry's, where he is responsible for creating (and tasting) new flavors.

To be honest, he should probably drop that scientologist thing to avoid any confusion.

Spors will go around sampling ice cream flavors at many local restaurants and combines them in the lab.

And don’t worry about turning into a huge fat-ass on the job too. You only really have to taste a spoonful. It’s way better than being involved in those dreaded ice cream truck wars.




4. Toy Creator - Salary: Commercial and industrial designers earn an average salary of about $57,000 a year



Toy designers, also known as industrial designers, are the only single guys who can have a roomful of kid’s toys in their bedroom without being considered a pedophile.

This job entails combining your artistic talent with research to create the most appealing, fun and functional toys possible.

Fraser Campbell designs Hot Wheels toy cars. Sometimes he's creating control drawings or designing the vehicles, and other times involve administrative work like e-mails, commenting on designs and scheduling meetings.

Campbell said he always knew he wanted to be a car designer, and he planned his educational path accordingly -- attending an art foundation, getting a bachelor's degree in product design and earning a master's degree in industrial design.

Imagine getting paid to build sick car ramps and see how well they can hold up to an impromptu ‘Godzilla’ attack.



5. Video Game Designer - Salary: Starts around $25,000 with high growth potential



Jon Paquette is in the business of video games: He's the design director and writer for the Medal of Honor Airborne game for EA Los Angeles.

Paquette works with the company's development team, overseeing all design ideas and implementation. Sometimes this means days of meetings. Other days, he'll be at a desk reviewing level designs.

Seems like there is bureaucracy at every job. How bad could it be if you’re wearing one of those motion-capture suits and diving onto a stunt mat?

If you watch a lot of day-time or late-night TV you know that every DeVry or ITT Tech ad is trying to get you to enroll in one of their video game design programs. And although you probably won’t do much designing without a 4-year degree, it’ll still be cool to be so close to ‘the magic’.




6. Comic Book Guru – Salary: Entry-level pay starts around $20,000



Not all adult comic book gurus are as pretentious and overweight as the Simpson’s ‘Comic Book Guy’.

Josh Blaylock, for example, seems like a totally decent guy. He is the founder and president of comics publisher Devil's Due Publishing. He was always a big comic book fan and decided as a teenager to go to art school to pursue that dream.

After working as a comic book writer and artist, Blaylock started Devil's Due Publishing in 1999 and put the company on the map two years later when he resurrected the GI Joe comic series. Now he spends his days managing the day-to-day operations of his company, traveling to acquire new licenses, and reading plenty of comics.

Obviously with such mega-blockbusters as Spiderman, Ironman, and the much anticipated Dark Knight, the world of comic books is proving to be more profitable than ever. And, to be honest, we need more decent superhero characters to capture our imaginations. The days of weird anime and creepy Manga cartoons have gone on long enough.


So if these dream jobs seem like your cup of tea, then go for it. You’ll only have yourself to blame when 10 years from now your neighbor’s name is plastered all over Grand Theft Auto 9.


From Laura Morsch, CareerBuilder writer Dream Jobs, February 2008


Tuesday, May 27, 2008

UFC Payout Figures

The Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) continues to expand and so do their payroll numbers.

Our friends over at CagePotato explain the numbers for this weekend's UFC 84 and point out some major wage discrepancies.

To read about it, go here.


Thursday, May 15, 2008

Young Bears Do More Than Just Chill

We reported on Tuesday that most of Bear Stearns' employees were just lounging around at the office all day, basically getting paid to go to the gym and relax at the spa. That is, until JP Morgan completes its takeover of the deflated investment bank next month. But what else are those crazy kids up to?

Corey Lorinsky from ClusterStock interviewed a young Bear Stearns employee who described his short lifespan at the failed company in a little more detail:

Summer Training:

From the day I got there, I knew things weren't right. When we were doing Thompson training, the lady teaching the class was using Bear Stearns as an example stock. Every time she came back to the main research page, after she showed us some software feature, Bear's stock was down another $5.

On The Job:

When I got there, the job didn't seem like the horror stories I had heard. Most of the first-years weren't very busy. We would routinely congregate around each other's desks and have hour-long discussions about how crappy the market was doing.

The Crash:

The daily anti-Fed-bailout protests in our lobby were the worst. Didn't these people know they were at the wrong place? Didn't they know the people at JP Morgan still have jobs?

On Jimmy Cayne (former Bear Stearns CEO) smoking pot:

The senior level bankers pretended not to let it bother them. They printed out the pictures and pasted them all over the walls. But in reality, you could tell they were really nervous about Bear's future. They probably should have been smoking pot, too.

Now:

I'm still going into the office and being worked hard. My boss pretends that if I do quality work, I'll get an offer from JP. I wouldn't bet on it. A lot of other people just come into the office when they have to print something. Like their resumes.


There was another interesting story from the New York Times last month about a whole bunch of young college graduates whining that they were screwed out of their jobs at Bear Stearns after the company's collapse.

I understand it's a real pain to be stuck without a job but when you look into these kids' backgrounds you see they come from very wealthy families with expensive degrees from top colleges. They are the cream of the crop and this bump in the road is merely just a small setback in their otherwise very well-endowed lives. A lot of them even have other offers to 'fall-back on', as if a $70k entry-level-job with a big Wall Street bank can really be considered a 'safety option'.

And plus, since there is no way an entry level analyst could be held accountable for the Bear debacle, it will make for a great story on future job interviews -
"I see you were at Bear Stearns in March of 08?! Wowzers, tell me all about that one! Oh wait, better yet... you're just hired. You can tell me all about it on your first day, Mr. New Vice President."

Know anyone involved in all these Bear shenanigans? Shout it out in the comments.



ClusterStock: My Life At Bear Stearns: Not Just Sitting Around Waiting To Get Fired!, May 14, 2008


Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Making Money Off A Load Of Scrap

The combination of an economy in recession and the high price of commodities has caused many people to look at scrap metal as a serious money-making 'adventure'.

Fox Biz reports on the huge jump in scrap metal prices that are causing the big scavenger hunt:



Yes, that's right ladies and gents, that was Mike O'Malley in the flesh. He has aged terribly since his Global Guts days on Nickelodeon. Even that scrap metal heap looks just like the Aggro Crag. OK, maybe it's not him, I digress. Let's go to Mo with the scores:
  • At many scrap metal yards 'aluminum trailer siding' is a hot commodity
  • Aluminum averages $1.20/lb. at the scrap yard
  • Copper (such as piping and wiring) goes for $3.85/lb.
  • These prices are up 25% in the past 6 months
  • Steel prices have also increased by 75% in the past year
  • You can get about $100 for a truckload of siding
  • $25 for scrapping a used fridge
Also, check out at (2:15) in the video when the nosy cameraman follows the forklift operator. "Sweet, he's gonna drive that thing. That'll make a great shot for this segment! Oh crap... he's just getting his gloves. Now I look like an idiot."

So if you're looking to earn some extra cash, look no further than that pile of scrap metal in your backyard. And if you don't have one of those lying around, try scavenging around active Army testing areas for unexploded ordnance. Just try not to blow yourself up before you get it to the scrap metal yard for them to 'deal with'.



Fox Business: Scrap Cash, May 14, 2008

WSYR 9 Syracuse: More people turning scrap metal into cash, May 14, 2008

AP: Military cracks down on scrap-metal scavengers, May 13, 2008


Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Bear Stearns Employees Getting Paid To Chill

The Bear Stearns gang are just hangin' out at 383 and collecting those pay checks because, until the JP Morgan takeover is finalized, they can't be fired.

It was easy to fall into the trap of pitying all those unknowing Bear Stearns employees when their employer went belly-up in March. They had given years of loyal service to their company, and because of sub-prime mortgages and poor management decisions, they were all going to be living on the street.

It's hard to picture them on the street corner wearing nothing but a barrel and suspenders when New York Magazine is printing quotes from guys like this:
“I’d say 50 percent of my department comes in at some point on a given day, and the trading floor is empty. I take one call a week, maybe,” says the Bear employee. “Sometimes I have to, like, print something.”
JP Morgan is notifying thousands of former Bear bankers a week that they will be receiving the ax shortly. However, until all the paperwork is signed next month, they are free to hang out and check their direct deposit balances.

On top of that, laid-off bankers will be receiving at least three weeks of severance for every year served, plus a bonus for sticking around till the sale closes.

The article also refers to the former Bears in hibernation as becoming "spa swans and gym rats." I'm not sure if that refers to women and men respectively, or just a large collective group of metrosexual, roid-raging dudes.

Some people are not very happy about this, as noted by one commenter on the article, named Arcataberry:
"While these leeches are at the spa, I'm sweating my mortgage and the price of gas. Wall Street joins Washington at the top of the list of places Americans mistrust deeply. Gone is the cachet of brokers making sexy deals in high rises. They all look like rats to the rest of us."
I disagree. There are still plenty of sexy deals going on in high rises, those just aren't the ones getting reported in New York Magazine.



New York Mag: Bear Bankers Hibernate With Pay, May 11, 2008


Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Dream Jobs: King of the Dumplings

Fox Business delves deep into the seedy world of start-up dumpling restaurants with this dark portrayal of dump-lord Kenny Lao.

Nah just kidding, it's not like that at all. Instead, this dude Kenny is waaay too excited about dumplings and Fox Biz's Christina 'Kind-of-Hottie' Scotti isn't afraid to ask the tough questions:



A couple of great lines here:

Scotti: "Kenny Lao has dumplings in his DNA!"

Lao: "I've never seen so many dumplings in my life!"

Scotti: "What did your parents think?! [about starting a successful dumpling restaurant]"

Scotti: "Are you trying to make this the McDonald's of dumplings?"

(in the accompanying interview) What's an important life lesson you learned from this? Lao: "Nap whenever you can nap."


One of the most interesting strategies that Kenny discusses is calling a famous New York restaurateur's mother at home to pitch his idea. Really, how did that follow-up conversation go, "Sorry I was harassing your mother late at night at home, but I have a dumpling franchise idea you NEED to hear about."

All kidding aside, I'm happy for this guy. It's always good to see some young guys taking risks with new businesses and succeeding. And Kenny's chain, Rickshaw Dumpling Bar, which currently has 2 New York locations (soon to be 4), is pulling in over $2.8 million in revenue. As you may have noticed, I'm still bitter about the huge financial and health-code failure my dumpling-themed restaurant, 'Taking A Dump', was.


FoxBusiness: Young Guns: Behind the Scenes with Rickshaw Dumpling Bar, May 6, 2008


Wednesday, April 30, 2008

10 Surpising Jobs Earning Decent Pay

Are you sick of working minimum wage at fast food places, or stocking shelves for measly pennies? Does Zoo Curator, Animator, or Loan Officer sound like a better career move? Yes it does, especially if the pay is good.

59% of employees in the United States are paid by an hourly rate. Think of how far you could make a pre-tax $800-a-week salary go from working 40 hours.

Check out this list compiled by CNN of jobs, where you don't have to take your clothes off, and can get paid more than $20 an hour:

1. Subway and streetcar operators -
Annual = $46,180. Hourly = $22.20. I'm not sure where these 'streetcars' are located outside of San Francisco, but subway operator sounds doable. Press a few buttons, babble incoherently over a loud speaker, yell at people for holding the doors open. Don't forget about the intense responsibility of operating a high speed transport vehicle... and the cool hat. (not pictured)


2. Gaming Supervisors - Annual= $42,390. Hourly = $20.38. These are guys sometimes known as the pit bosses at casinos. The guy brooding and pacing around the casino floor making sure none of the dealers are losing too much. This sounds like a sweet job too. How much education and training do you really need to shake down and break the legs of a card-counting cheat in the back room?


3. Multimedia artists and animators -
Annual = $58,030. Hourly = $27.90. Toy Story, Shrek, Bee Movie and Finding Nemo were all great movies that took years of painstaking digital animation and countless artists to create. Everyone's seen the 'making of' for these movies, and you know they need a guy to run around in a weird black suit with motion capture sensors. That could be you! Besides, wouldn't it be fun to start sneaking hidden sex messages into Disney movies again?


4. Respiratory therapists -
Annual = $46,610. Hourly = $23.37. Teaching people how to breathe?! You're kidding me. These guys bring home this salary for helping doctors treat patients with breathing disorders. Squeeze a plastic bag here, blow a few rescue breaths there and then call it a day. Done and done, pay me.


5. Curators - Annual = $49,980. Hourly = $24.03. Everyone loves museums. According to the writeup on this, these salaries also include zoos, aquariums, nature centers and botanical gardens. These are places you would love to spend your free time. Imagine having a career hanging out at the zoo all day? And don't tell me it would smell bad, because you know training monkeys to give high-fives and explaining to little kids why two peacocks are climbing on each other are priceless opportunities that lend themselves to great personal amusement.


6. Health educators - Annual = $43,370. Hourly = $21.81. Remember Mr. Smithsburg, the health class teacher in high school? He passed around that prosthetic phallus with the silicone testicles showing everyone how to give themselves a testicular cancer self-exam? Well you could do what that guy does and earn a decent salary! Come on, who doesn't want to be an old creepy guy talking about STDs and prostate exams with young, impressionable, and mortified high school students?


7. Cartographers and photogrammetrists - Annual = $52,600. Hourly = $25.29. These guys make maps and analyze photographs. Seems simple enough, I mean come on, there isn't really any heavy duty cartography going on these days. Those days of traveling the globe on a ship to sketch landscapes are over. Most of the earth has been Google mapped to oblivion. We can even pinpoint where on a map a kid fell off his bike.


8. Arbitrators, mediators and reconcilers - Annual = $58,790. Hourly = $28.27. I think one of the best examples of this profession is from the opening scene in Wedding Crashers where Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn are mitigating a divorce settlement. If everything were just like in the movies, real life would be great. And if hearing people argue about money and squabble about child custody, isn't up your alley you could always go into buried treasure mitigation hearings. I demand 40 gold doubloons and 3 pirate skulls.


9. Urban and regional planners - Annual = $58,940. Hourly = $28.33. There are people who get their Masters and Doctorate degrees in studying this kind of stuff for city planning, but I'm gonna sum it all up for your so you can start making money in this career. Don't put the paper mill next to the tire fire yard, and keep the sex offender prison away from the elementary school. Now get planning, we need New New Jersey mapped out by Tuesday.


10. Loan officers - Annual = $61,930. Hourly = $29.77. Want to feel like you're making a difference with a career? Well jump on the bandwagon and continue to worsen the credit and housing markets by tricking people into high-interest loans they can't afford. At least you will be able to make your monthly payments, with this sweet new job.


Any other professions that do surprisingly well for themselves? Let us hear it in the comments section.


CNN: Ten jobs that pay $20 an hour, April 23, 2008


Tuesday, April 29, 2008

How To Make The Smart Moves With Money After College

Goodbye frat house, hello poor house?

If you're one of those lucky few who was able to land a job right out of college, congrats! Now, before splurging/splooging your first paycheck on a trip to Atlantic City or Las Vegas, you might want to read the rest of this.

According to an article on MainStreet.com, most people without a pre-thought-out plan end up wasting their newfound money and going into substantial debt. So here's the best plan of attack:

1. Pay off high-interest credit card debt - this stuff can get out of control real quick. Make sure you know what kind of interest your credit cards are charing you. If it's something around 12 or 13%, your best bet is to put all your extra funds to kill that monster before it grows another head.

2. Take out a chunk of those student loans - even if you have less than $25k in loans, you are in the minority. Most students graduating college have well over that amount in loans.That can be a major burden on you later in your 20s if you want to buy a house, a car, or start a family. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, you guys are just messin around and having some fun, but think ahead a little bit. For the baby's sake.

3. Savings - Now is the perfect time to start building some up. No matter how awesome this job is, remember things can be kind of unpredictable in the job market. Just look at all those bright strapping young grads who thought they would have nametags at Bear Stearns this summer. So put a portion of your earnings into a high-interest CD savings account or a money market savings account.

4. New duds - If you're starting a new job, first impressions are key. Everyone will notice if you keep wearing the suit you interviewed in everyday to work. So go out and prep out your wardrobe with some decent shoes, belts, ties, dress shirts, dress pants, and a couple of blazers/ suit jackets. Note: don't dress like your favorite outrageous SportsCenter commentator. Keyshawn (wearing a gray pinstripe suit, pink polka dot tie, and blue checked shirt) is probably blind.

5. Little splurge - After all the debts and necessities are taken care of, feel free to treat all your most loyal homies to feel cold brews down at the local saloon. Even the experts from the MainStreet article agree that going out and getting obliterated is a good idea. Also suggested: getting a massage. Not specified: what kind of massage, and how it will end. Just show up for work, I guess.


MainStreet: How To Get Your First Job Bonus To Go The Extra Yard, April 24, 2008


Friday, April 25, 2008

French Rogue Trader Lands Sweet New Job

This guy must have 'je ne sais quoi' coming out his ass. He criminally loses billions of dollars for a company, then a few months later turns around and gets another sweet job all while facing prosecution. Only in France, baby.

The man behind the €4.9 billion ($7.6 billion) loss at the major French financial institution, Société Générale (SocGen) back in January, has been working as a computer expert for the consulting firm LCA in Paris for the past month.

Even though he was forbidden by a judge to set foot anywhere near a trading room, and his passport was revoked as a flight risk, he is somehow allowed to serve as a 'computer expert' at a big computing consulting firm? I guess it's similar to the idea of companies hiring computer hacker kids to work in their security departments.

Kerviel is currently facing charges for breach of trust, forgery, and 'unauthorized computer use.' Back at SocGen he was able to get away with what he did for almost 3 years before getting caught. Kerviel started out with several small trades that no one would have noticed. They eventually turned into larger ones, and by the time it was all uncovered in January, the whole mess had spawned into a $7.6 billion casualty.

His supervisors maintain that he did everything in secrecy and was able to surpass the checks and balances that would have caught all his doings. He had spent some time in the division of SocGen that handled oversight and compliance practices. Kerviel's story is that his supervisors knew what he was doing

He's been lying low lately because almost everyone in France hates him and is disgraced by what he did. There is even a large group of Frenchies who maintain he's originally from an area of the country that 'good French people' don't even consider a part of "France". Regardless, his series of 'rogue trades' cost his company the greatest sum of money due to a rogue trader in history.

The weird thing is that when all these papers and news reports describe the guy, they use that phrase 'rogue trader'. What exactly is a rogue trader? Apparently, its someone who makes a whole bunch of unauthorized trades that eventually lead to big losses. If those trades had made the company billions of dollars, 'French Daredevil Evel' Kerviel would be a company legend sitting in a nice corner office at the SocGen Eiffel Tower branch.

Should we give this guy a break and let him get his life back together, or should he be under a little more lock-and-key due to his past indiscretions? Let us know in the comments section.

The Guardian UK: Rogue trader Kerviel get new job, April 25, 2008


Thursday, April 24, 2008

Makes His Own Bikes, Runs His Own Business

In a little one-man bike shop in California, this guy lives his life at full speed and on his own terms.

Brent Steelman has a cult following for his hand-made bicycles. In the days when ultra-light carbon fiber bikes are king, Steelman has welded out a niche for people who love the old-school steel bikes.

Once you get past the coincidence that his real name is 'Steelman' and he's the man behind the steel bikes craze, it's a cool story. And if you've got some extra cash and want a cool and truly unique vehicle to help deter gas costs, read on.

He charges $5,500 on average for one of his handmade bikes, and it sometimes takes 6 months for the finished product to be delivered to the buyer. Impressively, Steelman Cycles has no advertising or marketing campaign. The popularity and demand for the brand is all from word of mouth.

This is particularly amazing when you realize how computer assisted design and big factory bike manufacturers have cut down the number of handcrafted bicycle makers to under 60 in the whole country.

Steelman makes only 50 bikes a year, but he's in no shortage of funding or new business. Some of his investors include Jim Breyer, a venture capitalist who made Facebook what it is today, and KKR co-founder, George Roberts.

With all that confident investing behind him, Steelman is sitting pretty. He makes his own hours and spends plenty of time riding his bikes.

Steelman, a former professional cyclist, finds that he works best alone though. His company consists of himself, making all the bikes from scratch, and his wife, who handles all the front office orders. Steelman is a very particularly guy. He refuses to hire anyone else to help with his shop because he feels a hired gun could never match the passion for a product that its creator has.

But what's with the steel bikes? According to Jim Goldman, who profiled Steelman for CNBC:
He prefers steel -- as do his customers -- because of the ride the material offers. Stiffer, a better connection to the road. You "feel" the ride differently than you do with carbon fiber -- in much the same way drivers feel differently in a Porsche than they do in a Lexus. Each weld is a precise work of art; each frame capping his obsessive pursuit for perfection.
You've gotta envy this guy. He found something he loves and his little company is doing well for itself. From what this guy says, he seems pretty committed to working on his own, but it would be interesting to see what Steelman would say if he got offered a huge contract from a large bike manufacturer. Should he turn down a deal like that to stick with his ideals, or is it exactly what he's waiting on to cash in?

CNBC Tech Check: Silicon Valley's Steel Bike Guru, April 24, 2008